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You’ve Got Questions, We’ve Got Answers, Sort of

By Staff | Apr 8, 2008

Questions, huh? Yeah — me too.

Welcome to AQE, the special All-Question-Edition of Graffiti’s Morgantown Beat.

Because that’s what this spring is turning out to be in the University City — one big ol’ question mark right after the other.

Yep, the queries, ponderables (imponderables, even) abound. So let’s get Justin to cue the theme music whilst I reach into the Jar of Uncertainty.

Here’s the first:

Is Joe going to the NBA … or not?

That would be Mr. Alexander, of West Virginia University’s men’s basketball team.

Alexander is the quirky, Mandarin-speaking skyscraper whose free throw with 14 seconds left didn’t drop in that 79-75 Sweet 16 loss to Xavier last month in Phoenix.

If you want a breakdown of that game, you won’t get it from me. It’s NCAA history now, anyway. One for the highlight reel and Bob Huggins’ Zantac stash.

Besides that, I don’t know enough about the hardwood to analyze what went right and what didn’t. The only “post” I do is online. A “pick” is what I use to strum my beat-to-hell Fender and “screens” are those mesh-like things found in the windows of the poor souls who don’t have central air. (No global warming in my living room, by golly).

There’s no question about Alexander’s ability and star power. Any ESPN pundit or everlasting ‘Eers fan over a pitcher at Gene’s can tell you that. He’s enough of an athlete to score 30 points in a game and enough of a personality to net the Mother of All Media 3-Pointers, a glowing profile by Pete Thamel in The New York Times.

So, what’s it going to be? Senior year with Huggy Bear or celebrity golf with Shaq? The only one who can answer is Joe, and as of this writing, he doesn’t seem so sure himself.

Here’s another:

What’s that panel going to find about Heather Bresch and the mystery MBA?

Gov. Joe Manchin’s daughter says she earned one at WVU on her way to a corner office at pharmaceuticals giant Mylan Inc., in Canonsburg, Pa. The Pittsburgh Post-Gazette says she didn’t — and the auditing panel investigating the dispute says it might be a couple more weeks until everyone knows for sure.

And here’s one more:

When’s the smoke going to finally clear on that proposed smoking ban for Monongalia County?

Medically speaking, it shouldn’t even be an issue, given the well-documented cancer dangers of second-hand smoke. But Marlboro users, like Mountaineers, are always free, also. There’s that blue-smoke, jukebox aesthetic, too — I mean, what’s a tumor or two if you can’t have any more Dave Alvin and Joe Ely songs?

And don’t forget “conflict of interest” — imagine that in Wild, Wonderful — several members of the Mon County Health Board who will vote either way have business ties in Morgantown to the very establishments that would be impacted by the ban.


In a column that’s all about unanswered questions, at least I can end with what I do know. Morgantown, as always, is as entertaining as one Appalachian ‘burg can be. If you want music and/or social discourse, you’ll find it right here.

Here are some highlights:

Famed Subway pitchman Jared Fogle is coming to WVU April for Festival of Ideas. He’ll discuss “Living Well: Tips to Leading a Healthy Life,” at 7:30 p.m. April 9 in the Robert C. Byrd Health Sciences Center. Fogle dropped 245 pounds with exercise and low-fat subs from the chain.

The Joint Chiefs is (are?) reuniting for a 10 p.m. show April 18 at 123 Pleasant St. If we’re lucky, maybe Morgantown’s perennial funkmeisters from back in the day get all Stax/Volt on some Hank Williams. Right nice, indeed, he said.

See you next time.


Contact Jim at jbissett@graffitiwv.com