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Even superheroes need some self-reflection

By Staff | Dec 26, 2018

Let’s face it: Superheroes don’t always succeed.

Although they save the day more often than not, there are moments when many comic book characters fall short. Sometimes all that’s needed to correct a mistake is a little time travel, possibly multiple trips if the first solution causes an even bigger problem.

But as “Legends of Tomorrow” tries to convince us, altering the past can be a dangerous proposition. That’s why some characters might be desperate enough to make a deal with the devil (or a version thereof). That seems to have worked out pretty well for Spider-Man, I guess, and some of us have almost gotten over it (though clearly not all the way).

But sometimes the best thing to do is learn from one’s mistakes and grow as a person. What better time to do that than the new year? Here’s how a few comic book characters might resolve to improve themselves in 2019.

* Daredevil – Protect my secret identity more fiercely than ever by yelling out things like “Man, that’s bright!” or “Nice shirt!”

* The Flash – Next time I’m in a movie that might appeal to kids, I won’t drop the F-bomb. Assuming there is a next time.

* Deadpool – Make PG and G cuts of “Deadpool 2.” Sneak in the F-bomb.

* Aquaman – Stop fishing for compliments.

* Wasp – Get top billing in the threequel.

* Shazam – Don’t get so angry when people ask me to identify songs for them.

* Iron Man – Add a Dustbuster attachment to my armor for the rematch with Thanos.

* Phantom Stranger – Don’t drop in unannounced so much.

* Sleepwalker – Enroll in night school.

* Hellboy – Help out the folks in Hawkins, Indiana, with the strange(r) things they’re facing. Their sheriff looks like a pretty cool guy.

* Gertrude Yorkes – Get Old Lace more Instagram followers than Blue from “Jurassic World.”

* Harley Quinn – Travel the country going through comic shops and drawing myself in to “Birds of Prey” back issues.

* Jessica Jones – Cancel those season 4 announcement party favors.

* Batman – Remember to stick to the shadows, even – or especially – when I’m changing.

* Doctor Strange – Devise a spell to get Marvel and DC to bring back Amalgam, allowing me to rock that sweet Doctor Fate helmet once more.

* Snapper Carr – Stay away from the Infinity Gauntlet.

* Punisher – Less guns, more wordplay.

* Booster Gold – Gift cards for all birthday, wedding and Christmas presents. No time travel. (Also, clean my goggles.)

* Wolverine – Use my new “hot claws” to become the best there is at what I do. And what I do henceforth is… butter sculpture.

Evan Bevins is the writer of the webcomic “Support Group.”

– (with an assist this month from Brett Dunlap.)