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Comic book cabinet: Which characters could lead the U.S.A.?

By Staff | Oct 26, 2016

This election’s been weird, right?

Know what else would be weird? If somebody made a list of which comic book characters could fill out the executive branch, from the White House down to Secretary of the Department You Didn’t Remember Existed.

Guess what I did.


President: Batman

The symbol of everything to which America aspires, Captain America may be the president America deserves. But Batman is the president we need.

He’s got a moral code as unshakable as Cap’s, and he’ll make the tough calls when others might hesitate. He’s always four steps ahead, solving problems others can’t even imagine.

Vice President: Azrael

Nightwing is the obvious choice, but when Bane broke Batman’s back, Batman picked this guy – a brainwashed vigilante heavy on religious inconography – to replace him. Hey, the running mate often comes from, or winds up in, left field.

Secretary of State: Cypher

The most mocked member of the New Mutants, Doug Ramsey’s ability to understand any language would come in handy as the nation’s top diplomat.

Secretary of the Treasury: Scrooge McDuck

Uncle Scrooge could protect and grow the national economy as diligently as he has his own fortune. All we’d have to do is let him swim around in the vault occasionally.

Secretary of Defense: Captain Marvel

Currently defending the Earth from extraterrestrial threats as commander of Alpha Flight, Air Force veteran Carol Danvers might consider being responsible for just one country a breather.

Attorney General: She-Hulk

With her legal experience and gamma-enhanced physique, Jennifer Walters would be the most intimidating AG since Will Ferrell as Janet Reno.

Secretary of the Interior: Squirrel Girl

Two reasons: I didn’t want to research what the Department of the Interior does, and I wanted to get Squirrel Girl on this list somewhere.

Secretary of Agriculture: Poison Ivy

Who would be more passionate about this job? Sure, Defense might have to keep an eye on her, but it feels like a good fit.

Secretary of Commerce: Mister Terrific

A successful businessman with 14 Ph.Ds in subjects including physics, engineering, chemistry and political science, Michael Holt can understand the economy from a host of angles.

Secretary of Labor: Steel

John Henry Irons has the brains – he designed his own suit of armor to stand in for Superman – and experience – as a construction worker – to safeguard the labor force.

Secretary of Health and Human Services: Dr. Mid-Nite

Not only is he a brilliant doctor, but his work assisting those whose lives have been impacted by crime gives him the know-how to deal with the public health and social services aspects of the job.

Secretary of Housing and Urban Development: Green Lantern

With the knowledge of an architect and the experience of an intergalactic peacekeeper, John Stewart can handle the job from the micro to the macro level.

Secretary of Transportation: Optimus Prime

Great leader, and who would know the condition of America’s roads better?

Secretary of Energy: Mister Fantastic

Task the smartest guy in the Marvel, and perhaps any other, universe with developing an all-of-the-above energy policy.

Secretary of Education: Black Lightning

A teacher when he’s not fighting crime, Jefferson Pierce had this job once. Let’s see what he can do for a president who’s not Lex Luthor.

Secretary of Veterans Affairs: Captain America

Here’s a high-level fit for Steve Rogers (as soon as that “Hail Hydra” thing blows over).

Secretary of Homeland Security: Commissioner Gordon

I bet Jim Gordon can accomplish a lot without a corrupt police force and the stacked deck that is Gotham City standing in his way.

(With assistance from Brett Dunlap, Michael Erb and Amy Phelps.)