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These X-Men probably won’t make it to movies

By Staff | Apr 30, 2014

A list of X-Men unlikely to appear in movies is a bit harder than my previous entries for the Avengers and Justice League.

A bunch have already shown up, at least in cameos, and more are coming when “X-Men: Days of Future Past” opens this month. Where the Avengers and JLA feature characters from different realms who often need at least some backstory, members of the X-Men and their satellite teams share a common origin: They’re mutants.

So while these characters may have a rich history on the page, on the screen, they can easily be just a guy with wings or a woman with diamond skin.

Still, here are 10 I’d be surprised to see show up in any capacity.

10. Cypher – His power to read any language is a low-budget screen translation, as well as an interesting departure from those that are used primarily to fight and break stuff. But that’s also probably why many fans consider him a joke.

9. Sub-Mariner – Although he predates the X-Men by a quarter century, Namor is considered a mutant. He joined the team in recent years, but Subby is not primarily associated with them, and his rights belong to another studio.

8. Warlock – I’ve always liked this visually dynamic alien who threw off his race’s violent ways by developing emotions, but the X-Men films haven’t yet ventured into cosmic territory.

7. Broo – Also from space, the Brood are aliens that implant their eggs in hosts then take over their bodies. They’re a brutal, merciless race – except for this kid, a meek, friendly little genius. First you’d have to establish the Brood, then establish Broo, and I just don’t see filmmakers going there any time soon.

6. Lifeguard – An obscure Australian mutant, Lifeguard’s power grants her whatever powers and attributes are needed to negate a danger. It’s pretty cool, but Darwin in “X-Men: First Class” had a similar ability, and her inclusion wouldn’t excite many fans.

5. Slipstream – The same goes for Lifeguard’s brother, whose power to create portals could come in handy if there weren’t several more recognizable teleporters ahead of him. He’s not even the most recognizable Australian mutant teleporter (G’day, Gateway).

4. Joseph – I thought filmmakers might want to drag this much-reviled clone of Magneto out to get the series’ main villain younger or at least temporarily on the side of the angels, but it looks like Michael Fassbender and the upcoming movie will address both issues.

3. Maggott – As much as I like the guy, his powers (his digestive system is a pair of metallic slugs that move independent of his body) don’t translate well to film, and he tends to join Joseph and Cypher on the X-Men’s Rodney Dangerfield squad.

2. Sunpyre – She’s the sister of Sunfire, a Japanese mutant who spends more time refusing to join the X-Men than fighting alongside them. Sunpyre appeared in two significant storylines, both times replacing her brother on a team he either couldn’t or wouldn’t join. If the X-films need a flame-throwing female, they’re more likely to go with Magma or Firestar.

1. Revanche – Psylocke started out as an armor-wearing British psychic. In a story that could only happen in comics, or “Cloud Atlas,” she wound up in the body of a Chinese warrior woman. It got even weirder when writers brought back Psylocke’s original body, with the mind of the assassin whose body she now occupied. She joined the X-Men as Revanche (French for revenge). Psylocke appeared briefly in “X-Men 3,” but I can’t imagine anybody wanting to dust off this story for a film adaptation.

Evan Bevins writes the webcomic Support Group.