My name is Deana. But nobody with any sense calls me by the name on my social security card. To them I'm Dina Z. Colada, Dating Investigator.
It all started when I was sitting in my office working on the daily word search: If you think the date went well, don't forget to (blank) later and say so. Oh that one is easy. C-A-L-L. Next. A good sense of (blank) can relieve an awkward situation. H-U-M-O-R of course. This is so easy, I thought.
I looked at the clock on the wall and it said 3:33 p.m. I was getting ready for my next dating clue search when there was a hard knock on my door. "It's open," I said in my sweetest voice. The door creaked open and I found myself looking at the business end of a man who was hiding beneath his glasses
"Excuse me, Miss Colada?" said the man in a deep voice.
"That's me" I swooned. "What's your name handsome?"
"My name is Shark. Jack Shark. I need your help. Something terrible has happened. Could we talk...outside?"
I stepped outside to find the chiseled features behind those shades to be very appealing, but I could see a deep sadness in his baby blues. "OK, big man, what's the problem?" I asked.
"I thought I'd met the girl of my dreams. We had a great couple of dates. I didn't see her for a while then I called her. Now she's acting like she hates me. I don't know if I ever want to see her again." he said, holding back the tears.
"Relax handsome, I'm a dating detective and we'll get to the bottom of this, but first I've gotta ask a couple of questions. How was the first date? How long did you wait to call? And after the second date, how long did you wait to call? Were you intimate? Did she give you chase?," I questioned.
It was too much for him and I could tell he wanted to give me the slip. He started looking at his phone. He was trying to think of any way to get around this interrogation. He was here for my help and he felt like he was under investigation. He tried to change the subject.
"Spill the beans, Sharkie. Do you even know what a woman really wants," I pried. "I don't know! How could I possibley know? Women are so damn confusing," he said angrily. I could see his frustration.
"Women are confusing and I know because I am one," I began. "Maybe she wasn't clear with what she really wanted, because she didn't want to scare you away. And maybe your feelings got too intense too fast and that is what scared you away. You got scared, she got scared and it went downhill from there."
I could see him starting to relax.
"And when you decided to call," I continued, "it had been so long, she was upset. It was because she liked you so much and wanted to see you sooner, because she had been feeling the same intense feelings. Maybe she took it personally when you were too busy working and didn't make time out for her."
The moral of the story: We all want to be wanted. Even the most wanted. Here are a few major wants in our dating and relationship lives: Women want to feel cherished and respected; men want to be appreciated. But most importantly, we all want to be heard. When you're dating, don't just talk about what you want, listen to what the other person has to say.
Dina Z Colada is a dating coach, writer, artist and owner of DatingFusion101.com, a new event planning company specializing in parties for singles. No luck on the dating scene? Call Dina for a free dating consultation at 304-871-4653 and sign up for her free teleclass for women at www.datingandmeditating.com .