Ins & Outs — Olympics

By Ben Spanner
In — Start the summer right, with a quick dose of crazy. Arwel Hughes, 27, of Angsley, U.K., got drunk off of boxed wine, dressed in a black bag with a cape, then beat the crap out of two members of a Jedi church while yelling “Darth Vader!” and swinging a crutch mercilessly. Seriously, I couldn’t make this up. The victims were videotaping themselves swinging lightsabers when Hughes, sloppy sloppy drunk, assaulted them, only causing minor injuries. Ladies and gentleman, welcome to summer.

Out — A quick dose of American film at Cannes, I’m talking really quick. Every summer Cannes unleashes a wealth of great films and this year is going to be no different. But this May 14-25 festival only has two American films included, down from five in 2007. The Clint Eastwood directed “The Changeling” and the directorial debut of Charlie Kaufman’s “Synechdoche, New York” are the only American pics. We make bad films?

In — Democrats race on this summer, but can Barack handle “Gymgate?” Two high school students from Scranton, Penn., were suspended for skipping glass to meet Obama. They even got him to sign an excuse slip for them. However, that didn’t get them out of it.

Out — Just because we love terms that end in -gate, here’s “Cookiegate” James Caan recently stormed off the set of his new drama “Nailed,” after a dispute over a cookie with director David Russell. Caan is scripted to choke on the cookie and felt people who choke don’t cough (which is right), while Russell wanted some hacking.

In — Summer super heroes that don’t have billboards Summer is a time when heroes come out. Iron Man, Hulk, postal workers. That’s right, a postal worker caught a baby that fell out of a second story window last week in Albany, N.Y. She CAUGHT A BABY! Take THAT Spidey.

Out — Summer super fashion police I don’t claim to know enough about fashion to care, but I’d like to place shorts with frayed ends on the out list. Everyone knows that you didn’t cut those pants into shorts and consequently I find it impossible that you went to that many different high schools and always played “Varsity” and wore those numbers on your T-shirts. It’s just impossible!

In — Summer clothing trends I just learned about today In what can only be called a ridiculous deluge of Googling, I managed to find out the summer fashions for this year ... bright colors. I’m serious, that’s the fashion. That’s it. From blogs to forums, everyone’s just talking about bright colors for this summer. Isn’t it more involved than that? I don’t follow high fashion very much, but c’mon!

Out — Summer clothing no nos that I’ve known for quite some time now but people still wear. Now bad fashion, we here at Graffiti can handle. The No. 1 culprit when it comes to summer is the dreaded 1990s-Bo-Knows tank-top.

In — The Beijing Olympics Come Aug. 8, 2008, the world will finally be ready to watch the summer Olympics. Every four years a summer comes around that grants us this wish and it’s truly a sight to see. From track and field to ... track and field, the ratings go up and we root for our country (or another country with a sweet flag or sweet colors). U.S.A.! U.S.A.! Or Sweet Colors Country!

Out — The Beijing Olympics Sadly, this year’s Olympics are shrouded in controversy over China’s abuse of Tibet. Everything from banning Tibetan protests over the Internet to their reactions to Tibetan riots as well as the overall freedom of what should be a sovereign nation has caused various protests during the ceremonial carrying of the torch. Athletes who have no relation to this cause may be the ones affected by lower ratings or constant commentary. Free Tibet.